No sir. I am not. My son has died.

Well, more like a brother than a son. Sometimes felt like an elder brother or a younger brother depending on the moment.

This is presumptuous of me I guess, I hadn't heard from him for over a year before he died. I had tried, but not hard enough. Not frequently enough. I write too many people off I guess. When I meet someone amazing I don't think I'm worthy of being their friend.

But maybe worth doesn't matter, maybe what matters is the value of connections.

This was 3 months ago, and I'm only finding out now.

I'm pretty sure I was the last one to mail him, but we had several chains going on, and I should've replied to them all.

I wish I had tried again sooner. I should've got over how weird I felt, should've have assumed he was ignoring me. Maybe he just missed it. Maybe he was but would've changed his mind.

I don't know if he needed someone, if I could've been a person to have helped him. I just wish I could've been there to stop him.

It's so fucked up that in the winter when I finally did mail him again to ask about that great game that it happened to be 2 days after they found  him.

If I had just reminisced a week earlier, could I have changed things?

I don't even know if it was an accident or on purpose. All I know as that however standoffish I might've been to avoid being a stalker, I wish I could've helped him somehow.

I don't know how that could've been. If words would've been enough. If he had asked, could I have pushed myself out into the world to help him through it?

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ie NBs or Non-Binary

why have I not heard of this term until today and it took a trollthread on halfpol to come across it

some kinda Linux genius

It only took me eight hours but I finally with lots of help and begging managed to find the correct driver for my dongle and how to clone from GIT and then do a make / make install and also edit my modeswitch rules so things would be properly detected. Wi-Fi USB adapters these days are basically Nightbane. C: the Money of Soul and Possibility Control (model A was simpler, no CD hidey whatever the term was)



WTF was I doing all day.

going to try some Lubuntu on other aging desktop, can't seem to survive windows or even ubuntu. I was hoping being 3 years younger and an extra GB ram would make it resilient enough, but I should keep in mind former owner probably didn't clean it once in 10 years whereas I totally clean mine every 3 years or so (probably should do it semiannually)

time to meme again

Ugh.... so I have pages 847-880 of my notes to go through. I number both sides of course, so I have only consumed ~441 sheets of paper (still writing 881-882, have taken to taking 1 piece at a time, easier to just write on that in a board... when I kept them in binder it would gradually rip the holes out as I wrote, no thanks).

Had no internet in my room for a long time. It was like the antenna built into my old desktop just died over time. Maybe the connection is loose, something burned out? Dunno. Lubuntu was fun-ish to get to learn but unfortunately the USB dongle I bought to connect to WiFi only has .exe setup for Windows so I had to use another refurbished desktop w/ Windows on it to be able to use the dongle.

There probable is some way to set it up for Linux but I'd need to download the software, so catch 22. I know I could set up a Linux OS on my laptop which still has the built-in WiFi still working, but I'm not sure how I could copy software I downloaded onto it over to my desktop. I do have a cable to connect PCs which I'm trying to figure out.

Guess I could try windows 10 on the old one, I never did try any version above Vista on it.

Anyway, been procrastinating taking my screenshots for months. Gotten to the point where due to 60 days I can't view PVR contents in browser so been deleting stuff w/o taking the shots... I really hope I can catch up. Not just to get around to it, but also to clear some space.

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god damn Mary Sue / Sioux is so powerful her magic reaches across realities to crash my media player

So I just finished the 12-episode Youjo Senki (Tanya the Evil) series and got to watching the movie...

Working just fine until exactly 1h9m38s...

Suddenly the thing crashes. Coincidence? Maybe... so I replay it, trying to find my spot. This is how I learned the number, because I knew I was roughly an hour into it, and went forward bit by bit until I found the consistent crash spot...

Anyone with a copy of the film will know how weird it would be to have it crash at that EXACT moment, given what happened at that moment. Gives me shudders... 

All I could think when this happened was DAMN YOU BEING X.

So turns out my file is 2.0 GB and it's supposed to be 2867M according to Ginpachi... so I'm assuming it's probably incomplete and will use HexChat to try and resume and see how partial it was..

yup... was only at 71%... I guess it was one of those ones which got interrupted but I must not have taken notice of it. OH WELL.

Still creeped out... what are the odds that my download fucks up at that EXACT point, of all the points for it to happen at?

Somehow that America-loli doesn't want me to watch her battle with the Germany-loli. Somehow the steampunk inventions of the Trumps are involved in this.

mini cucumbers

delicious and a refreshing alternative to apples in these temps

>Draft saved 27 июля 2019

why the fuck is my month not displaying in English?

Also why does return key make doublespace line return instead of 1 like in PM... maybe I must click 'switch to old version' but that should be the default.

I wish I had bought 5 maces in the town before it sank so I can get to that guy, for some reason it won't let me fly out of the hole, I'm pretty sure I could buy them in that engineering town that gave me the airship.

Fucking slow oft-stallined Lubuntu isn't always as super-magic reliable as it sometimes seems. Even more efficient software needs good hardware to rest upon I think.

Sometimes I think it isn't even the vid quality. When I can't play 1080 I usually can't play 720 or even 480 either, or even load a basic webpage. Just something slowing EVERYTHING down, no matter how I reduce demand. Inexplicable.

Flowers not doing so well outdoors even with bidaily waterings.