tycio

I am a genius of self-harm

and typing without your left index finger really slows you down, trying to fill in with my middle...

it's taped up with a massive "paper cut" which I actually inflicted  via string... perfect timing just as I'm winding down with my nightly sleeping pills to get a boost of adrenaline that may  keep me up until other stuff  prevents me settling...

I guess it's comforting in a way to have nobody to blame for this other than myself though. Pain and injury in small doses kinda center you if they don't have interpersonal baggage, as that can be far more anti-relaxinf

I had a pair of scissors three seconds away and should have used them but there's some kind of toxic male macho shit where I think I ought to try  everything by hand first... 

so my tshirt had a loose thread and I grip it with both hands intending to snap it... but clearly  my left  grip was too weak so when my secure right pulled it slid... 

I must've  realized left was weak as I had it wrapped halfway round the index, so BLAM, we're talking like 100 degree arc here... and THEN wisely used the scissors to cut the loose thread that  had tripled in length.

very painful but didn't actually bleed, it's where you can look in and see red and know the slightest shift will rip it  open so a bandaid makes sense to avoid that and infection.

Only used warm water, had used mouthwash (I might have the Rona, constant throat tickle and huge dry coughs... no phlegm or bloos vbut it's persistant..) so maybe I should've poured that on...

One concern about my growing weight is that it's hard to tell if breathing difficulty or soreness is Rona-related or just standard  fatass side effects. I really oughta find a supplier for BW row bars ...


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