It only took me eight hours but I finally with lots of help and begging managed to find the correct driver for my dongle and how to clone from GIT and then do a make / make install and also edit my modeswitch rules so things would be properly detected. Wi-Fi USB adapters these days are basically Nightbane. C: the Money of Soul and Possibility Control (model A was simpler, no CD hidey whatever the term was)
I SHOULD SLEEP NOW
I GOT TO WATCH NO TV AT ALL DUE TO THIS
WTF was I doing all day.
going to try some Lubuntu on other aging desktop, can't seem to survive windows or even ubuntu. I was hoping being 3 years younger and an extra GB ram would make it resilient enough, but I should keep in mind former owner probably didn't clean it once in 10 years whereas I totally clean mine every 3 years or so (probably should do it semiannually)